A Couple of Randoms

There are at least 2 Concrete Randoms in our house. Then there's one Abstract Sequential, One Concrete Sequential, and one that is curly haired, learning to walk and so cute when he squanches up his nose at me and grins.

Random is fun. Random can be unpredictable, adventurous, exciting. But to us Sequentials, it can also be exhausting, confusing and infuriating. Our youngest CR goes through her day very much living up to the definition: "occurring without definite aim, reason or pattern." To the other Random in the house, it may be even more infuriating, because being able to predict a Random's next move is both a blessing and a curse.

A few "concrete" examples of the often predictable Little Random:

"Mom, what are we having for supper?"

"Soup."

"Can I have tomato soup?"

"That is not the kind of soup that I fixed tonight."

"Well, that's my favorite."

"You cannot always have your favorite."

"Well, I like tomato soup."

"I am so glad."

"Next time you make soup, can you make tomato soup?"

"I will make tomato soup, but it may not be the soup I make next."

"Well, I like tomato soup."

Just for fun, here's the Little Sequential, same conversation topic:

"What's for supper."

"Soup."

"Yum!"

More?

"We are going to Walmart. Please put on your shoes."

"Can I get some gum at Walmart?"

"No. You are out of fun money."

"I can use the card from Target."

"We are not going to Target. We are going to Walmart."

"Well, can I use your money at Walmart?"

"No. You can use your own money."

"At Target?"

"Yes, but not today. We are going to Walmart."

"But I want some gum."

"Since we are not going to Target, and you do not have money for Walmart, it seems like you will not have gum today."

"Well, I love gum. It's my favorite."

(There is more to this, I will spare you....)

And Dear Sequential:

"We are going to Walmart. Please put on your shoes."

"Yes ma'am."

How do I let the Random be random, and at the same time teach her that the world is ordered, by an orderly God (who, yadda yadda created randoms too yadda yadda) and there are expectations to be met, rules to obey? What does it look like to help her be all God made her to be, risk taking and competitiveness included? There are many questions, and yes, fears, we have as parents as we face the reality of the truth of this personality and the weight that comes with training such a one. In true AS fashion I have launched a thorough investigation to uncover the myths and truths of my CR child; how she thinks, how she responds to encouragement, discipline, ultimatums; and how I can outwit her by knowing her better than she knows herself. A Random Jedi, if you will. And of course, the Force is with me. Right?

As one of my faults as a Sequential, I may at times have difficulty being diplomatic about things. Move it or lose it, sister. God gently reminded me, through diplomatic, gracious friends with fantastic resources (here and here) and a heart to shepherd, that I cannot win this one. It is not mine to win. She is mine for a time, to love and inspire and train, but my job is not to win. If I can help her, and actually all of them - because they will all send me running to the library to research personality traits and child training at some point in each of their lives - discover their purpose is to glorify God and make Him known, then I have done my part. And I guess that is a win, in some ways. Which is nice. Because I hate to lose.