Perfect Parenting

If we give them an inch, they take it and run a mile. We let them do this at the table one night, and now they attempt it several times a week. But it's really funny to us, so I guess we're willing to put up with them being borderline rude at the table because you are allowed to be silly for such a short time...imagine Ryan and me doing this if we ate dinner at your house. My apologies in advance if the girls try this when dining with you. They also lick their plates after dessert. Judge me as a mother, I don't care. You know you want to lick your plate after dessert, too!

Making More Memories

When I met my friends at Clemson when we were 18, the thought that these may possibly be the kind of friends that share our families with each other and grow up together never crossed my mind. I was just so excited to make new friends and have fun with each other and make fun memories that I didn't think about the future. I certainly didn't think that there would be 20 kids between 11 women born within 5  1/2 years!  A luxury, now I see, to be in a place so comfortable in life that I didn't have to think about my future. 

I think it is such a gift God gives us to find in people a kindred spirit that endures life's trials. To get to partner with people in their journeys, and to be a part of each other's journey, I feel is such a blessing. Many of my Clemson memories are as vivid to me as they were the day they happened, and when they were happening I did not consider us kids. But we were! And I still feel in many ways that I still am a kid, waiting to feel like a grown up! We may not live with each other anymore, or know what we all have had for breakfast or how that exam went or be there when someone wounds us or get to rejoice with each other when good news comes, but there is something so very comforting about coming together with friends that know you so well, you don't have to explain yourself. Although we've all changed greatly in 10 years, those years we spent together at school, living and sharing with each other, gave us insight into who each of us is at our core.

All of that to say, I got to take the girls to Clemson earlier in the month to visit my dear friend Brandy and her kids. They moved up at Christmastime from Bluffton, and we are trying to take advantage of being so close. It is kind of amazing that kids and everyday life have only let us see each other a couple of times, but each time we try and plan out our next hang out time to cram in visits! Bran has Sarala (4), Jackson (2.5) and Sam (1). It was so fun!! Bran makes me a more relaxed person. She's very laid back and just doesn't get stressed out and keeps things in perspective. 

The kids had a lot of fun together. Sarala and Kate played in Sarala's room most of the time, pretending all kinds of things. Nancy went between the big girls and Jackson and "baby Sayum"- she just wants to be where the action is. We packed a lunch and went to the Botanical Gardens and took a walk, it was a beautiful day! I had my wedding portraits taken here, and of course I never thought about bringing my daughters to hang out in the garden where their Daddy proposed and I wore my wedding gown! Then B turned me on to Sonic's happy hour and we got some giant Dr. Pepper's as a treat to ourselves. Love you B! It was fun making more memories with you and the kids! Can't wait for the zoo with Tracy in April!

Sarala and Kate checking out the fish.

This was Nancy's favorite part of the day! She even talked about it to Ryan at dinner that night, how she got to "ride de strorrer ride wif jackson. I stam up!" (stand up) And Jackson was such a strong, sweet boy keeping Nancy safe with his arm around Nancy to make sure she didn't fall off. 

I love Nancy cutting her eyes at Jackson!

Another One?

Eating a messy snack at the kitchen table. Me: "Nan, don't put your hands up in your hair, please." Nancy: "I just stretchin', Momma!"

Excuses at age 2? Yikes.

I'm So Proud of Me

This is me at my Homeschool Mom best. Yes. BEST. Up until a few weeks ago, I was still wondering when the day would come that I would wake up and love it. Then I realized it is March. The seasons have changed 3 times, and we are on week 19 of 26. If I haven't loved it after these 7 months, chances are I'm not gonna. And I'm okay with that.

Happy Birthday Cohen!

Last night I went to the hospital to see some friends who had a new baby boy. He was so tiny (sort of! he was born 8lb. 15 oz.!) and squished up and pink and warm, and it was so fun to celebrate his arrival with them. I can't wait to see what kind of parents they will be and to watch their son grow up. 

But while I was there, I could not help but think about the last time I was in the hospital visiting a baby. It was a year ago today, and I arrived at the hospital with my heart in my throat, shaking hands and my mind racing. The baby was Cohen. It was Cohen's birthday, the day that God had chosen for him to be born. We just didn't know if it was also the day he would choose to take Cohen home to live with Him. We had prayed so many things for him, for Chris and Emily, Cort and their family. It was finally time to see what God had in store. It was a culmination of several months of fear, sadness, helplessness, confusion, but also hope. After the Concert for Cohen in February, I left feeling strangely hopeful instead of mournful and devastated. I felt like I had to explain to myself that it was okay to have hope and not make excuses for feeling so in a time that seemed to call for despair. God is so gracious, to give us the ability to feel the freedom of hope, even when there is none to be found from doctors or ultrasounds or common sense!

I had had dreams that Cohen would be born alive, well, breathing air and full of life. And Chris would come out to the waiting room and say "he's going to be okay." I wanted so desperately for Chris and Em to be spared the pain of losing a son; I learned I had to give that up, and instead desperately long for what God had in store for them in Cohen and pray we could be whatever He needed us to be for them. But, Cohen was born, crying! breathing! full of life! It is a miracle. He is still a miracle! And I get to feed him bottles and read him stories and watch Kate talk sweetly to him and Nancy try not to poke his eyes out. That is a miracle!!! And even though he may not be "healed" the way the world thinks of healing, but he is exactly like God wants him to be, and that is whole and perfect. And here, with us.

I will never forget that day. I will never forget that season of our life. It was the saddest, hardest, scariest thing Ryan and I have been through in our marriage...and it was happening to someone else! Watching Chris and Emily fully embrace the heartache and also fight to fully embrace God, it was a privilege to witness and walk with them through it. And it's also a privilege to know Cohen, and be able to celebrate his life, which brought so much heart change to me and in my family and people all over the country and world. It is a miracle, that God chooses to use us to spread His love and glory. I hope tomorrow night He gets all the glory!! Happy Birthday, Baby Co-ee!!!

In the waiting room, praying and waiting....

The first time we met.

The news: "We need a nursery!"

Cohen's 1 Day Birthday Party!

Painting Cohen's room - I love that Chris got the chance to paint a bit in between NICU visits!

Holding Cohen for the first time.

Cohen's first visit to our house!

New Year's Eve, Nancy "lay down" with "baby Co-ee". 

A sneak peek at the miracle, very late one evening.

Kate meets Cohen.

DHEC Gives the Green Light

Kate talking on the phone to cousins McKenzie and Paige. We like to call them the "NC Burnses".

The Department of Health has given us the green light to re-enter the world beyond our front porch. Kate is well and no other family members are showing signs of the flu. Kate was well just long enough to not be able to enjoy the snow - seeing she had a fever just over 24 hours ago, I didn't feel good about sending her out with her runny nose to play. Plus, due to the snow, her appointment to get her cast set was pushed until tomorrow, so she still has the soft splint on and I could just picture her falling off a sled into the street on her wrist.

I just want to say thank you for loving on us! Between all the phone calls, food, toys and videos for the girls, emails, cards and even flowers, we felt more blessed than cursed and your thoughts and prayers were greatly felt - we decided to do all we could to make the most of the weekend instead of bemoaning what could have been. Ryan used a projector from his office and we hung a sheet up and watched movies in our bedroom. Kate fared well, really only having a fever for 3 days, and the hardest part of it all was keeping Nancy away from her. They have spent some good time together today pretending the coat closet is a rocketship, and Rick, they even went to Australia to visit you and said they had a great time. Thanks friends and family, for loving us and being the body of Christ. We are so blessed by you, and seeing that you cared about what was going on in our hard week put our circumstances in perspective. I am really amazed with all the love we felt and am just so thankful for friends and family that are willing to serve us and our kids and listen to me whine and love me in spite of it!

Today was Ryan's first day "working" from home, which Jami declared a snow day, so I think our first day was not a typical day. He changed diapers, read to the girls, took out the trash and cleaned the breakfast dishes. I even got to go to the store this afternoon while the kids rested - I can't remember the last time I ran errands on a weekday afternoon - maybe July of 2003! I can see we'll have some ground rules to establish, and his being here will be harder to get used to than I thought. But it was fun to have lunch with him and to get out of the house for a bit.

One final note: Did you know that cauliflower has sugar in it? And when you steam it and forget about it, the water in the pot dries up and the sugar carmelizes in the bottom of the pan and stinks up your whole house on a cold winter day when you shouldn't open the windows? Kate: "Hey, mom, uhh, what are we having for dinner?" Me: "Not what you smell, I burned something." Kate: "whew. that's good, because I think you should open the windows, it smells pretty awful in here." 

For those of you in our community group, don't worry. The cauliflower puree will not be appearing in anything I plan on offering you at our next meeting. I have learned my lesson.