Does Anyone Need a Fix?

I don't really have any photos to go along with this post. I have had a couple of comments from friends asking me very nicely to please post something because they have nothing to do at 5:30am or 11:30pm. I am so thankful for bored friends, at any hour of the day.

School is going different. Different than I thought it would be, and much harder than I thought it would be. I knew it would be an adjustment, I just thought it would all be good adjustments. I imagined the second week being our "power through" week of being emotional and tired, but those things seem to have perpetuated themselves into week 3. We have realized that Kate gets sad on Sunday or Monday evenings, saying she doesn't want to go to school because she misses being at home playing with Nancy and misses Daddy. No, she doesn't say much about missing me. No, that does not hurt my feelings.

The eve of the first full week of school we had a very sad Kate come out of bed and tell us "I used to eat 3 meals a day with you, but now I only eat 2!!!" (add many "boo-hoo"s at then end of most of her statements and you can get a feel for how the conversation really went). We had a sweet conversation with her, though, about how God is always with her, and He can comfort her when she is sad. Also, we reminded her about last year, and how we felt God asked us as a family to do homeschool and even though we weren't excited about it every day, we still needed to choose to trust that God had led our family right where He wanted us; and the same applies to Brushy Creek. It was a conversation we would never have had if she were home this year; I would be breathing down her neck about her handwriting and math skills and controlling every step of the way and not letting her make mistakes. Instead, we all have a little (first-grade sized) pain and heartache, and learn to depend on God more.

One funny thing she said to me after the first day of school was this:

Me: Hey, Kate, did you ever find yourself talking and praying to God today while you were at school?

Kate: No. I pretty much could do everything by myself so I didn't need His help.

This just floored me. Absolutely. Not because I was surprised. But that my 6-year-old summed up in just a few words our human struggle with independence. God doesn't want us to need His help. He wants us to need Him, for who He is and all He is. Reminds me to change my prayer from "Lord, help with this, and this, and oh yeah! this." to "Lord, help me want You even if I don't need anything!! Just for the sake of knowing You more!"

We did venture up to Boone for a weekend in August to visit Ryan's brother and family. We had a great time, and I'll post some of those pictures soon. Nancy started mom's day out once a week, so she is loving feeling like a big girl in school like Kate, and I am luh-ving the 5 hours all to myself every Thursday. If you call and I don't answer, it's because I am scrubbing something clean or running. Don't take it personally.

"The Best Day of My Whole Life"

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who called to check in on me on Meet the Teacher night and the First Day of School! I feel very loved and supported! Kate did great! And I did too.

Her teacher's name is Mrs. Birckbichler (Burke-bickler) but she tells the students to call her Mrs. B. The night before school started, Kate was putting on her pjs and dancing around in her room and I heard her say "The first day of first grade is going to be the best day of my life! I can't wait for second grade!!" Aren't we always looking forward to the next best thing?

I was up around 5:30 this morning, fixed some muffins, drank some coffee so I'd be pleasant to Mrs. B, got a quick shower and dressed, and heard Kate up at 6:45. She went ahead and got dressed and ready, and we ate breakfast together (Nancy too), we packed her lunch together, took some photos, and we were off at 7:35! Kelly, you were right. Goodbye lazy mornings!

First Grade! Mrs. Birckbichler's class.

Julia was gracious enough to coach me through the drop off this morning. We met at a friends house that lives across the street from the school, parked and all walked in together. Julia has a 2nd grader and Kindergartener. I love this shot of the kids walking in together!

Kate at her desk! She sits in the front of the room - I'm wondering when she'll begin to need glasses? Totally anticipating that at some point. She walked right into the class, said good morning to the teacher, hung her backpack up, put on her badge, and sat at her desk and waited for the day to begin! We hugged her and said "Have a great day!" She didn't even get up from the desk to hug us, and said "See ya later!"

Can you see her way in the background? Behind the green box on the desk in the back? I took this from the classroom door. She looked so small to me, and alone. But she doesn't ever consider herself alone I don't think. I don't either, and when I am alone, I relish it. This is the point of the morning where I felt obligated to shed a maternal tear or two; I have a feeling that will come later, after she's gone day after day, and I begin to miss her. Today, I just got TONS of stuff done and had fun with Nancy!

After I picked her up, we went to Sonic for half price slushies and she showed me her worksheets. On the way home, here is our conversation:

K: "Mrs. B isn't like I thought she would be."

M: "What did you think she would be like?"

K: "You know how ladies have short hair? She has long hair. And sometimes even puts it up in a ponytail!"

M: "Is that all?"

K: "Um, she's kind. I thought she'd be, um, I don't know how to say it."

M: "Mean?"

K: "No...."

M: "Like a mom?"

K: silence.....

Nancy's concerned face. Her chair was wobbly.

First Grade Eve Dinner