Lately Ryan and I both have had a hard time seeing the forest for the trees. We have exhausted ourselves focusing on small things that we think are in our control instead of seeing the big picture - God does, will, and wants to provide for us in so many ways. It has been exposed in everything from buying an iron to replace the one we've had since college, to paying for the costs of repairing the flooding damage caused by my insatiable desire to win the Best MultiTasker Award. (Did I ever tell anyone about the time I buckled the kids in their car seats while talking to Emily on our house phone, put the phone on the top of the car, and a few errands later watched the phone in my rearview fly from the top of the car into traffic? I couldn't figure out what had flown off the car until several days later when I still hadn't found the missing handset and put it all together.) Am I so proud that I honestly believe every scrutinized decision determines what God is going to do in us and through us as a family and individuals? How can I begin to operate like my choices define how He is going to choose to use me? As if I'm the one in control and He's on standby for the really "big stuff" I can't handle.
I have been learning this week, as we are adjusting from 10 days away from home, that just as I ask Kate to simply obey because I've asked her to and to trust mommy's word, God is calling me to do the very same thing. Ryan pointed out to me that I ask "why" often. I'm not sure why I do (ha!) and it was the first question I asked God after my feet squished across our bedroom carpet to turn off the faucet. I see my daughter in the same battle I'm in: to obey because I trust and nothing more.
And speaking of trees, Lee Anne showed up this morning with this basketful of new loofahs for me, as if she has a loofah tree in her backyard. I call it a blessing; she called it "insurance". It will take everything in me to be willing to trash each one after it has served its purpose instead of attempting to prolong it's life by washing. But every loofah I'll use for the rest of my life will serve as an Ebeneezer that God provides exactly what we need, exactly when we need it - even if I don't ever get the "why?"
I'm off to shower.
3 comments:
"here i raise my ebeneezer......" i will forever think of that too when i see a loofah- love you mols....
Amen, sister--God knows exactly what we need exactly when we need it. I am so thankful that He doesn't give in to MY whining most of the time! This will be a GREAT story for years to come. And haven't you learned so much from it?!
good post. really good post. right now in our lives, i want to see results so fast instead of trusting and obeying with every single step as we wait to sell our house, work on finances, wait a few weeks to move and wait in our application process. it's hard to trust in this waiting. and, it's hard not to ask why!!!
we saw some loofahs at the store the other day and gray said, "should we buy molly one of these?"
can you tell i'm just now catching up on my blog reading from our trip???!!!
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