A Couple of Randoms

There are at least 2 Concrete Randoms in our house. Then there's one Abstract Sequential, One Concrete Sequential, and one that is curly haired, learning to walk and so cute when he squanches up his nose at me and grins.

Random is fun. Random can be unpredictable, adventurous, exciting. But to us Sequentials, it can also be exhausting, confusing and infuriating. Our youngest CR goes through her day very much living up to the definition: "occurring without definite aim, reason or pattern." To the other Random in the house, it may be even more infuriating, because being able to predict a Random's next move is both a blessing and a curse.

A few "concrete" examples of the often predictable Little Random:

"Mom, what are we having for supper?"

"Soup."

"Can I have tomato soup?"

"That is not the kind of soup that I fixed tonight."

"Well, that's my favorite."

"You cannot always have your favorite."

"Well, I like tomato soup."

"I am so glad."

"Next time you make soup, can you make tomato soup?"

"I will make tomato soup, but it may not be the soup I make next."

"Well, I like tomato soup."

Just for fun, here's the Little Sequential, same conversation topic:

"What's for supper."

"Soup."

"Yum!"

More?

"We are going to Walmart. Please put on your shoes."

"Can I get some gum at Walmart?"

"No. You are out of fun money."

"I can use the card from Target."

"We are not going to Target. We are going to Walmart."

"Well, can I use your money at Walmart?"

"No. You can use your own money."

"At Target?"

"Yes, but not today. We are going to Walmart."

"But I want some gum."

"Since we are not going to Target, and you do not have money for Walmart, it seems like you will not have gum today."

"Well, I love gum. It's my favorite."

(There is more to this, I will spare you....)

And Dear Sequential:

"We are going to Walmart. Please put on your shoes."

"Yes ma'am."

How do I let the Random be random, and at the same time teach her that the world is ordered, by an orderly God (who, yadda yadda created randoms too yadda yadda) and there are expectations to be met, rules to obey? What does it look like to help her be all God made her to be, risk taking and competitiveness included? There are many questions, and yes, fears, we have as parents as we face the reality of the truth of this personality and the weight that comes with training such a one. In true AS fashion I have launched a thorough investigation to uncover the myths and truths of my CR child; how she thinks, how she responds to encouragement, discipline, ultimatums; and how I can outwit her by knowing her better than she knows herself. A Random Jedi, if you will. And of course, the Force is with me. Right?

As one of my faults as a Sequential, I may at times have difficulty being diplomatic about things. Move it or lose it, sister. God gently reminded me, through diplomatic, gracious friends with fantastic resources (here and here) and a heart to shepherd, that I cannot win this one. It is not mine to win. She is mine for a time, to love and inspire and train, but my job is not to win. If I can help her, and actually all of them - because they will all send me running to the library to research personality traits and child training at some point in each of their lives - discover their purpose is to glorify God and make Him known, then I have done my part. And I guess that is a win, in some ways. Which is nice. Because I hate to lose.

Thomas is One!

Just pictures. Because you know how I feel about him turning one.

you'll notice how he does not care to open gifts....

Year 1 With 3

Today, Thomas is 1!

We, and I do mean WE, feel like we are finished having babies, and I had the vein surgery to confirm that. I am definitely finished birthing them. So, with our 3 kids filling our house and anticipating the days of not having a crib or booster seat or pack and play or getting to see what the world looks like at 3pm (which are bittersweet thoughts), I consider Thomas's first year to be the first year of the rest of our lives.

I do feel like we have entered into another phase in the life of our family. In many ways he is still a baby. Sippy cups, spoons and bowls and a crib and diapers and chew toys and outlet covers. But there are no more bottles to wash, no bouncy seat big enough to contain him, and clothes are utilitarian and not "so sweet". I am excited about this new year and the changes we will live through. There are, however, some lessons hard-learned from this past year that I will carry with me into our new phases of life:

1. Always have shredded cheese in the fridge. When dad works late, I found the same meal can make dinner and fill up a 7 year old, a 4 year old, and a 10 month old.

2. 4pm is not too early to get dinner started. And this is for a 6:30 dining time. And it's most likely reheating leftovers in the microwave.

3. 4am is the only time during the day I can sit and watch tv uninterrupted. So I did that, once, on April 29th, 2011.

4. For me to expect the kitchen floor to only need to be swept once a day is foolishness. It may be sufficient to say I should sweep the kitchen floor once times the number of people and pets residing in home.

5. The amount of time it takes in minutes for each human unit living in our home to get ready to walk out the door is 21 divided by the age of the person. And yes, that means I can get ready in nano seconds.

6. I am no longer allowed to judge mothers who are unaware that one of their small human units in the home is playing in or around the bathroom and it's accessories. I cannot always keep track of where and what everyone is doing. Thus, lesson learned is: close toilet lid for year 2 with 3....

7. A load of laundry must be done daily. Even Sundays. And leap days. From now until the end of time.

8. It counts as exercise if I squat while I pick up toys, dropped laundry, or snack crumbs off the floor. That means I exercise 5 to 6 times a day, which I bet is more than you and that makes me feel good about myself, unless you are doing the same kind of exercise I am.

9. I no longer avoid making phone calls at certain times of the day. I call when I can, because it may be the only time the whole year I have time. So sorry if you're phone rings at 7am or 11:30pm. It's because I love you so.

What, did you think there would be 10 Lessons? I have 3 kids, what makes you think I'd have time to come up with 10??!

90 Birthday Cakes

April 16 we celebrated Ryan's grandmother's 90th birthday. Her actual birthday is April 11. His brother and family came into town from Boone, NC, along with his cousin and her youngest (and only girl) all the way from Arkansas. Memaw was a social butterfly, not sitting until the very end when she was made to take a seat and enjoy the food from her birthday spread.

I really enjoyed watching the cousins play and laugh together, and I think some of these photos captured their personalities pretty well.

Just to give you an idea of Memaw's size, her eldest great grandchild is not quite 10 years old in this picture.

Memaw and her three children.

Thomas

The Truth Hurts

Nancy likes to push the tiny "shopper in training" cart at the local store. Usually she is right on my heels, following at a halting pace. Today was no exception.

Nan: "Mom, your bottom is shaking!"

Me: "hmmm. Side to side, or jiggling?"

After a pause in thought: "Jiggling."

Uh oh.

Easter

We were home for Easter Sunday this year for the first time since Nancy was a newborn. The past 4 years we were at the beach or the lake, not bad places to spend Easter. Here are some of my favorite pics, sans the yummy ham and deviled eggs. I love Thomas's outfit. A dear friend gave it to me shortly after his arrival, and she brilliantly and knowingly bought a 12-18 month size, even though Thomas was only going to be 10 months at Easter. It, of course, fit perfectly. Thank you, friend! Oh, and the rest of the family looks lovely in their Easter comfies. We worshipped Saturday, so I am not even sure I showered. Too much? Oh well.

A Trip to the Beach

Ryan and I decided somewhere after child #2 but before child #3 that if a pack and play is involved, it is not a vacation, but a "trip". We took a wonderful trip during Spring Break with some very special friends. The kids played so well together - correct me if I'm wrong, Kel, but I don't think we had one "sharing" fight? Conversation was great, got some running and walking in, a little reading, some shell searching, and the 10 of us even crowded the smallest restaurant on Edisto for dinner one stormy evening. It was a fun and surprisingly relaxing trip! Thank you, Keevers, and we love you!!

Thomas, first time at the beach. He ate it up. Literally.

Nan and friend!

A quick nap before shell beach

The walk to shell beach, complete with hundreds of crabs and beautiful marsh views.

Happy Beachers!

Yay! Beach!

Kate and "Calahayan"