"Sometimes we are fresh and eager to attend a prayer meeting, but do we feel that same freshness for such mundane tasks as polishing shoes?" Oswald Chambers

Insightful

Here are the things Nancy Rose must mull over in her mind during carpool line. Sometimes she ends up sharing her thoughts:

"Me, Thomas and Daddy are silly. You and Kate are not silly. But, that's okay. We still love you."

Darn Cute

Moments like these are the ones I treasure. Their personalities are anything but monotonous!

It Was a Scratch!

I painted Nancy's nails the other morning and told her to sit very still, with her hands on her knees, until her nails were dry.

About 30 seconds later, she said "Mom! I need you! My nail got smudged and can you fix it?"

Here is what I saw:






And here is the dialogue:

Me: "Nancy, how did your nail get messed up?"
Nancy (incredulously): "I don't know!"
Me: "Did you touch it with your other finger?"
Nancy: "nooooo. m'am."
Me: "Did you scratch something with your finger?"
Nancy: "mmmm. noooooo. m'am."
Me: "Nan, did you pick your nose?"
Nancy: "Naw. m'am."

Whether it was a pick or a scratch, the purple polish doesn't lie.
Unlike the 3 year old.

Christmas Break Part 2

If you haven't heard about our Christmas, read about that here. If you have, then you understand that this was a redemptive snow. Here is a video capturing the girls as they woke up Monday morning:

It snowed 6 inches Sunday night, and the girls woke up to a beautiful snowy morning. I usually pay no attention to the weatherman when he says there will be snow. Not because I don't want to get my hopes up for nothing, but because it rarely happens to the extent predicted and I think people here have a tendency to overreact to the effect of snow and ice. Basically, I am the Debbie Downer of winter. I get very little pleasure from snow, none at all from ice, and any excitement I have about wintery weather takes it's root from the excitement of my kids and husband. I don't hate snow, I just don't care that much about it.

However, I do care, very much, about my kids, and their excitement was pure and contagious. And Ryan wanted to play in the snow so badly, he took a half day off of work to come home and sled and build a snowman. Our attire is ill equipped to withstand the wet and cold snow, there was a certain amount of trial and error before we found the right combination of gloves, tights, socks and shoes to keep hands and feet warm and dry. It made me wish that we were neighbors with my sister-in-law and her family, so the NC Burns could teach our girls more about how to really play in the snow, or at the very least that I had bought those snow boots on clearance last season.

Jeremy Keever drove over and picked the kids and me up and took us to play with the Keevers. Do you see Calahan the Sasquatch lurking in the background?

The snow was not great "snowman" snow, but we worked as hard as we could before our fingers started to go numb.

Understatement: Nancy likes to eat snow.

Today is Thursday - day 4 out of school. Tomorrow is a teacher workday, which was news to me, and Monday is MLK holiday. If you want to add that up, it's 10 days out of school. So here we are, in the middle of Christmas Break Part 2, minus the Christmas and pneumonia. And it is so much better than the original Christmas break!

Murphy's Year: A Recap of 2010

I could just recap by doing that Facebook "My year in Posts" thing to get a snapshot of what went on in our home the past 12 months, but I think that would be an incomplete synopis. I didn't always post my angst, elation, boredom, frustration, brokenness, weakness....I said "always", not "sometimes". I definitely used The Face as a chance to vent a little. Fear not - this post not a vent. It may be considered a type of journaling, or retracing a timeline of events. I have a propensity to do this for 2 reasons:

1. I love a list. (thanks, Dad)

2. It helps me visualize what God has been up to in our home.

This visualization is good for me, because it helps put circumstances into perspective. I have a tendency to isolate situations and focus so much on the negative, but for every "negative", there was always God's grace quietly upholding us through the bad. For example:

WINTER: Ryan lost his job, while we were registered for Financial Peace University, but never once had to put anything on a credit card. When he was hired by EP exactly two months after he lost his job, we actually had more money in the bank that when he was employed!

SPRING: We had saved gift money to pay for our hospital bills during Thomas's arrival, but because of new premiums, didn't need that money for the hospital and instead were able to buy a new car in May after the transmission in Ryan's car died, just 10 days before Thomas was born. Born healthy, happy and so thankful for our little man.

SUMMER: Over the summer, work was more than I could handle, truly. So I hit my knees for discernment, compassion and focus as I juggled a new baby, changes in administration and recruiting over 100 volunteers. God provided in all areas, abundantly.

FALL: Kate has had a phenomenal school year, and her teacher is perfect for her. We went to Boone to visit Ryan's brother and family and had a great time, despite Thomas getting his first true cold and coughing most of each night while we shared a room with him. It seemed for every fun thing we planned, there was a not-fun thing to bookend it. A family trip to the lake was preceeded by strep throat, with a finale of a sinus infection and walking pneumonia. The entire month of November was spent on the phone with my OB, pediatrician and lactation concerning nursing issues with Thomas, which resulted in 2 antibiotics and a final decision to switch him to formula. Thanksgiving's appetizer was the stomach bug for both the girls and dessert was Thomas on meds for a lingering cough that made him a beast for 2 days. Ryan had more late nights at work than not, which all moms know is hard on everyone. Our Christmas, well, you can just see that here.

There is, of course, so much more; many more emotional, relational things that happened along with the physical. God has shown me many things:

1. The importance of community.

2. I still have it all wrong; I am seeking what He gives rather than craving who He is.

3. How weak I am, and how very strong He is.

In my isolation, mostly due to illnesses, I have a tendency to minimize what God can and is doing throughout the body of Christ. Knowing and hearing truth spoken from the hearts of friends and family reminds me that He is bigger than any trial I face, and also knows suffering himself because He sent His Son to endure trial perfectly.

I believe I posted a rant last year about the tension I was wrestling with that resulted from a difficult sequence of events in life. Not much has changed as far as the difficult sequence of events part, and I dare to say it's gotten harder. I have often find myself bargaining with God "If You'll just let this cup pass this time, I promise I'll ________ for You", pleading with Him, "please please I cannot take anymore!" or flat out telling Him, "listen here! I think You have given me more than I can handle - don't you see I'm on the edge here?!" Again, looking for what God can do for me rather than who He is.

A bent to assign blame or reason to things can exhaust me to the point of paralysis, even in daily tasks. When I am not in God's Word, constantly laying my questions and fears down and preaching truth to myself, I spend my day's energy on chasing an answer to "why?" or "why me?" This search always ends the same way: I do not have a right to know why, and God is in ultimate control. It exposes my weakness, and draws me to depend on Him.

Ryan and I have jokingly called 2010 "Murphy's Year", or the year of "Good Enough". I feel like nothing has been done completely, or well, from the laundry to relationships. What I am learning that our best is good enough and God is more than capable of upholding things despite our shortcomings.

What did you learn in 2010? I know many of you had a hard year, a humbling year, or a sad year. But where did you see God's grace, His love, His hand? There was not a single significant event for us this year that marked us, but rather a heat of circumstances that at times was too mundane to bear. Where did you find glory in the monotony?

"I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be."

Philippians 3:12

Twelve Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Old Man Murphy gave to me:

12 childrens' movies

11 loads of laundry

10 days of antibiotics

9 chapter books read

8 days indoors

7 trips to Target

6 days of fever

5 PRESCRIPTIONS!

4 dozen nebulizer treatments

3 sick kids

2 worn out parents

And a white Christmas not to be enjoyed.

It was not what we hoped, worse than what I feared, but there were still precious moments this holiday. To name a few: Kate leaning against the sliding door watching her neighborhood friends play in the snow Sunday, but not getting to play in it herself as she was recovering from walking pneumonia. Nancy pressing her snotty nose against her window to look at the snow, too sick to care about playing in it. Cuddling with my baby boy, too sick and tired to stay awake for even 30 minutes.

We were still able to enjoy Christmas Eve with Ryan's parents, and our Christmas Eve worship service with our church. My favorite gift was from my dad - a framed box containing the medals my grandfather wore on his uniform at our wedding, the last time he wore them. Watching my grandmother love on her seventh and youngest great-grandchild.

I had to let go of the nostalgia that Christmas time brings to my mind and instead embrace in a fresh way the reality that God sent His Son Jesus so that we can have One who can relate to us, who has been through what we have suffered and experienced, so that God can relate to us.

A few of my favorite snapshots:

Kate's elation over her American Girl doll. There were tears of joy.

Monie and Thomas.

Sick and tired boy. Worried mom.

New Christmas gifts made breathing treatments "fun".

Oh happy day! The Christmas tree is being kicked to the curb!

Snow, and trying to make a happy memory.

"Although he was a Son, he learned obedience through what He suffered. And being made perfect he became the source of eternal salvation to all who obey him."

Hebrews 5:9