Even So

"All his life Joash did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight because Jehoiada the priest instructed him. Yet even so, he did not destroy the pagan shrines and the people still offered sacrifices and burned incense there." 2 Kings 12:2,3

I wonder what my "even so's" are? Am I pleasing to the Lord? Do I really care to be? Is that how I approach my days, with the goal in mind to please Him? 

All her life, Molly did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight...yet even so, she did not let go of her control and worry of provision and safety of the future. Yet even so, she did not stop comparing herself to other women and their bodies, minds and holiness, refusing to accept the Lord's good gift of her uniqueness in Him and harboring envy and pride in her heart. Yet even so, she did not destroy her idol of comfort and ease, so she still tried to serve two masters - herself and God. 

Like Joash, will I sell myself out to other rulers in my life in order to preserve my kingdom? Joash served the Lord at periods in his life, but in the end he was assassinated by his own officials, buried "in the City of David, but not in the royal cemetery." (2 Chron. 24:25)  Basically, Joash was close, but didn't quite make it into the category of "one after the Lord's heart." I can't help but wonder if that "because Jehoiada the priest instructed him" part has something to do with the fact that Joash's faith wasn't really his - he was just following someone's lead, doing what they said was appropriate, making offerings to the Lord with his stuff, but not with his heart. He didn't let God own him; he tried to keep parts to himself. We cannot serve two masters. Does Jesus say "I never knew you" to Joash? What will Jesus say to me?

How exhausted Joash must have been, trying to preserve his own life and kingdom while at the same time offering sacrifices to a God who he did not completely believe or trust. He just worshipped because someone told him that's what a good king does. 

Am I worshipping God because that's what a good girl does? What "even so's" do I need the Spirit to purge from my heart? How exhausting it can be, working to hold onto my kingdom while claiming to belong to another! 

"From beginning to end it is always his word and his call, his alone. If we follow Christ, cling to his word, and let everything else go, it will see us through the day of judgement. His word is his grace." (Bonhoeffer, Cost of Discipleship)

Not Our Home

We sold our house in a day. 

After 6 months of sweat and tears and money and exhaustion, it was finally ready to put on the market. And just like that, it was gone. No longer our home. Full of inspectors and agents and appraisals, people coming in and out, turning out the wrong lights when they leave. And I find myself getting defensive of our home, annoyed at all the intruders making appointments to get in, wanting to hold it close, keep it ours for as long as we can. But we have it in writing - it is no longer ours to keep, and we have given the buyers full rights to explore and discover their new home...even though all of our stuff still fills it.

And there is no new home for us to turn expectantly to. It is that moment of faith, when one must let go in order to grasp the next thing, our hands empty as we fly in mid-air, praying that we will see the help to come, grab firm and move forward. We must turn expectantly, not to a home, but to the Lord, and depend. Ultimately, all of life is dependence. 

At least that's what I try to remind myself. Not for the sake of over-spiritualizing the process, because there are tons of practical things that we have to think about, pay for, talk about, pray about, decide on, pay for...but when I feel I'm at my wits end, and nothing has changed about our circumstance despite the paying, talking, deciding, thinking, paying and praying, God always brings me back to the reality that this world is not my home. And although the spot where we lay our heads at night may be transient for a season, that is not a bad, or scary thing. It actually may be a really awesome, exciting thing - IF. If we will trust Him. And believe he loves us. And live like He loves us and will take care of us. 

"The first Christ-suffering which every man must experience is the call to abandon the attachments of this world" - Bonhoeffer

A Birthday Sandwich

Recipe for a Birthday Sandwich:

1 slice of big sister with the flu (despite flu shot), prepared before birthday. Set aside and wait to heal.

5 days of birthday fun in the middle!

Add another slice, this time of little sister with pneumonia for 10 days. 

Enjoy your birthday sandwich!

Bangs

Here in Greenville, we have had 4 days of solid rain. Boring, steady, gray rain. Last week was 75 degrees, and the daffodils started popping out of the ground. This week, rain. What does this have to do with bangs? Everything. 

I have bangs for the first time since I was 15:

Incriminating, I know.

I like to think that my new 'do is reminiscent of one actress on a currently favorite tv show, especially since my hair randomly went curly in my early 20s:

But usually, when I catch a reflection of myself in the grocery store window, the only time I have the opportunity to check myself out all day, I am always surprised to see that my hair, in fact, looks nothing like Jess's hair. Surprisingly disappointed.

Often I forget I have bangs, until the weather reminds me. 

This week, with our 4 days of wet weather, I was reminded what rain does to bangs, especially bangs that are attached to curly hair: 

Today's forecast is sun. Everyone will be thrilled, especially Bill, who helps me carry my groceries to the car. 

Year 2 With 3

Today, Thomas is 2!

We made it! All 5 of us! It has been a year full of changes and growing and learning and letting go. I have been more physically exhausted from the care and keeping of these 3 than anyone could have ever told me. And we have been more emotionally invested in their training and schooling and preparation for launch than I anticipated for as young as they are. The road continues to get more winding, less predictable, as the kids get older. Which is half the fun. 

I put into practice most of the tips from my list of Top 9 lessons learned from last year. I do laundry every day. We watch loads of Hulu, usually in 20 minute increments. We go through 3 bags of shredded cheese a week. I do not, however, sweep the kitchen floor every day. The dog became an inside dog during this year to become our live-in, fully functional vacuum. But there are many new lessons learned this past year that I can carry into the next several years of our years being outnumbered. 

1. If I hear a 2 year old say "jump!", "poop", or "uh oh!", it's too late.

2. I will not judge a mother for giving her toddler the iPod to play games on. And also will not try to hide my judgement with the thin veil of "wow, the things they pick up on these days". We all know what you are trying to say.

3. Always have at least 2 balls, 3 toys with wheels, 2 books, a trash bag, set of hand wipes, a change of clothes for every member of the family, towels, a stroller with buckles that work, a banana, and bandaids in the van at all times.

4. I'll say it again: A load of laundry must be done daily. Even Sundays. And leap days. From now until the end of time.

5. Bathtime requires at least 3 towels. One for the boy, one for the wall, one for the floor.

6. As opposed to last year, now when calculating how long it will take to get ready to leave, use the following equation: Age of individual x 7 + number of individuals. Unit of measurement is in hours.

7. If you lift 30lbs repeatedly over your head, your will have amazingly toned arms. Amazingly toned arms somehow do not make for amazingly toned (fill in the blank) elsewhere on your body.

8. Keep it covered.*

9. I can only go to Publix as long as I am willing to let everyone in the car have a cookie.

10. Not everyone thinks it's funny when the kids tell the 2 year old to yell "poop!!" really loudly in public.

11. I will N-E-V-E-R be within budget for groceries, unless I decide to start making my own Goldfish crackers and can grow bananas in our backyard. (I don't want to hear it, Joey Espinosa)

12. If you have one nose picker, then you will have 2.


Yes, there are 12. And no, it's not to make up for not having 10 last year. Seriously? You pay attention to stuff like that? Maybe you should stop reading blogs and pay more attention to your kids....



*"it" being any of the following, but not limited to: a dirt pile, a rock pile, an ant pile, the toilet, the trash can, your belly button, the computer keyboard, the dog food bin, the dog's water bowl, your mouth, the toothpaste.

Mom: I Have One, I Is One

I know an amazing woman. From her, I learned....

to keep my kitchen countertops clean. not just neat. clean.

how to be a loyal friend.

to dress appropriately and fashionably, at the same time.

that it doesn't matter what other people think. it matters what God thinks.

that long needle pine straw truly is superior to short needle.

babies take better naps when you take off their shorts.

when everybody helps, everybody gets done faster and can enjoy being together sooner.

to make treasures with my hands, to give to people I love.

not to be afraid to be myself.

my singing really does sound awesome in the shower.

that fresh flowers in the house make any day special.

to truly call it "weeding" you have to pull it from the roots.

it is not okay to have just one eyebrow.

I must be able to laugh at myself.

if I think I can make it, grow it or do it myself, I probably can.

to pray about it. all of it.

if it blooms, it needs sun.

family is a gift to be cherished, no matter the cost.

And to hear this woman tell me she thinks I am a good mother? There is no greater compliment from my own mother than this.

Vegetable Management

Have you heard of The Noisy Rabbit? It's a local group of produce loving peeps that like the idea of a CSA, but instead of supporting one local farm, the Noisy Rabbit supports local businesses and grocers, which guarantees the grocers their sales and the consumers their produce at a discounted price. We have done a CSA before and enjoyed it, but found that the produce didn't stretch very far for our growing family. With Noisy Rabbit, affectionately called "Dirty Bunny" by the husband, we get a laundry basket full of vegetables and fruits every week for just $15 a week! It is fun to get the basket, but there is a sense of responsibility and urgency to manage the veggies when they land in the house. Thus a friend affectionately calls it "vegetable management".

This brings a weekly challenge, gladly accepted, of using up every bit before it goes bad. Some things get eaten up without even thinking (bananas, apples, grapes, sweet potatoes, cantaloupe, citrus) but other things send us to Google or Pinterest for ideas. Chayote squash? That becomes Sausage stuffed chayote squash. Fennel? Italian sausage and fennel pasta bake. Brussels sprouts? Sauteed with white wine and apples, topped with bacon and parmesean. I certainly can't NOT use them, so they must get eaten, someway, somehow. Usually by me. By myself. As leftovers. For lunch.

Any ideas found, favorite recipes, fast and easy, or kid-friendly recipes, are shared with other friends that are also "noisy". Extra root veggies get roasted with a chicken or put into stock. Any scraps get composted. And, thankfully, we get lots of onions, and now I've found a use for all those onion scraps!I am so awesome, aren't I? I am not trying to be all braggy, but basically prove to my husband that this experience is worth the cost. We make lots of noise of our own in emails, and now there is even a google group where we post our successes and failures (which I haven't actually posted on yet, because I have been so busy cooking and cleaning). I have been pretty good about using up most of what we get, but this weekend I found my drawers were busting at the seams with bits of unused veggies. Anyway, we had a vegetable management dining experience. I used every pot, pan, mixing bowl and measuring spoon and cup in the kitchen. Twice. 

How did it fare with the fam? Everyone took a bite of each. The "parsnippits" were the favorite. And yes, I had all this for lunch today. I have to remember that if my 5 year old puts one kale chip in her mouth, that's one more kale chip than I would have tried at 5, so maybe in 20 years she'll eat them for lunch leftovers herself.

Noisy Rabbit is constantly adding pickup locations, and have recently added their 500th member. Check it out if you are interested, and tell them I sent you over their way - I'd get a free week! And don't be afraid to come eat with us....I promise I would only serve brussels sprouts with your permission, no surprises.

A weekly round up, getting ready to manage the veggies.

Kale chips

Baked zucchini slices with sweet onion dip.

Strawberry puree to go with chocolate pudding.

Smoky parsnip crisps

Tortellini soup with carrots and kale.