Mary Monday: Hair Confession

Look at me! It's Monday again, and I actually remembered my new resolution of writing weekly via the Monday posts. First step: figure out how to make the time to jot thoughts into the week. Second step: make said thoughts coherent. 

Second step will be a long time coming.

On to another "thing" I do; or don't do: 

I don't wash my hair (often). True story.

My hair used to be straight and shiny smooth, blow dry it and go, and I coulda pulled off Rachel-from-Friends-in-1995 hair, but in 1995 I was too young to have that hair cut. 

Here is the only digital picture I have of my straight hair:

And that's our dog, Belle, when she was a puppy. I promise she's not dead there. 

At some point shortly after I got married, my hair started to curl. And now this is what it looks like when I blow dry it:

After a few years of trial and error, asking other trusted curly-haired friends how they keep their curls, someone told me about the book, Curly Girl, by Lorraine Massey. 

This book changed my hair's life. It's basically like the Oil Cleansing Method for your hair. The idea that your body naturally produces oil, and when we wash with detergents - which is what most of our commercial soaps are - it completely strips your hair and then overproduces oil, which is what leads some people to feel like they need to wash their hair even twice a day. A vicious cycle. 

I wash it with paraben free shampoo twice a week, the other days I either don't wash it or use conditioner to wash it. Yes. It sounds like rubbing oil in your hair. But it's not. Because it's soft and not fuzzy, bouncy but not heavy. And since I hate to get ready, I love that I only need to wash my hair 2x a week. It makes me more willing to get out of bed when I know I don't have to "do" my hair. I'd just rather use that time for other stuff. Like drinking coffee.

You can read all about how to tweak the method for yourself and your hair personality. Most people have some kind of wave to their hair, so I think that most people's hair can benefit from this practice.  I am not necessarily a Curly Girl purist - but I do what makes my hair do what I want. Here is my "routine", and I will share with you the products I use as well:

- wash hair with paraben free shampoo (I use EveryDay Shea, a big 32oz. bottle for $9.99 that lasts me about 3 months)

- rinse shampoo, add a big blob of conditioner (Tea Tree Triple Treat by Giovanni or Yes! To Carrots, both at Target for $7.99 and $8.99, respectively) and start at ends and work up to roots. 

-rinse conditioner, squeeze excess water out, and squeeze drips with a microfiber towel (I use an old 50/50 tshirt. Gross? Meh....)

-here is where I spend my money: DevaCurl hair gel. It's $18.95 for a 12oz. bottle.* 

That's it. I don't blow dry (except my bangs), I never brush my hair, I only diffuse in the winter when it's cold and my hair is still dripping before heading out the door, and I don't use curling wands** or irons or other hot things. I told you, I really hate getting ready.

Why I love this method:

• ZERO split ends. Even going 4 months between hair cuts.
• No more dry, flaky, itchy scalp.
• No more fuzzy hair. 
• Very little maintenance and product and equipment. (cha-ching)
• Products that are good for my skin and hair, not harsh and scary.
• Happy hair = more time to think about other, more important things (dinner and carpool line).

This method may not be for you, but I think it's fun to try new things. The book is helpful and full of info, it's worth the read: I picked it up at the library! And this routine and the products are my favorites, but was born over a couple of years of trial and error. My hair may look the same every day, but when I like what it looks like most days, then I am okay with it being the same...

And for the record, I feel funny having so many images of myself on this post. 

Happy Monday!

*BUT, it does not have all that wax in it that builds up on your scalp and makes your scalp itchy. And also doesn't make your waves crunchy, but soft. I also don't dye my hair, and get it cut just 4x a year, so there's money there that I use for product instead.

**even though i recently witnessed what a wand can do to curls after a few days of not-washing. magical. and kinda want one.

White Noise

Lately, I feel like no one hears me. I say things. Out loud. But no one responds. Like white noise. It's there as background, to drown out the other noises. 

I talk about these things all the time, but no one is listening to me:

"Stop licking stuff."

"Don't use your shirt as a napkin again."

"The dog does not need more water when her bowl is already full. Get the paper towels and clean it up."

"Do not balance your plate like a waiter and try to sing. We do not live on Broadway."

"Get your arm out of there."

"Put your gum back in your mouth."

I now understand how Phoebe felt:

Mary Monday: Premiere and the OCM

Mary Mondays is my stab at getting myself to write weekly. I am hesitant for several reasons:

1. Mary Monday posts will most likely be written on Tuesday nights, or Saturday mornings. Not Mondays like I want. Because I am not perfect.

2. It could expose that I am weird. Everyone's weird. But I have found that I do/say/try things that make some people second guess our relationship, or respond with "hmmm..." or "ew." Like my friend, Mary.*

Without further adieu, may I present the inaugural Mary Monday Post:

I wash my face with oil. True story.

Once a Neutrogena loyalist, I have used their Deep Clean face wash since college. After years of adolescent and pregnancy related acne - I started wearing makeup when I was 10 because of my acne - I have used everything any dermatologist can throw at me. Name it, I have used it, save one or two of the biggest guns on the market. 

For those of you out there with similar stories, the idea of rubbing oil on your face probably triggers nightmares, ending in going to the store for a lifetime supply of concealer. Not only are you supposed to rub the oil on your face, it actually cleans your face. For reals.

I didn't diss the Deep Clean because I was unhappy with it. Like I said, it has worked for me for years. But I couldn't quell the curiosity behind the Oil Cleansing Method (official name) and couldn't help myself from trying it. All I needed was a bottle of cold pressed castor oil for $6.99, just $.79 more than my beloved Deep Clean. This new regimen has been part of my evenings for over 3 weeks now. A small container with 5 Tbsp of oil has lasted me 2 weeks. A little goes a long way! Cha-ching!

You can read all about how I got started on The Healthy Diaries blog, but my main loves right now are:

• smaller pores on nose, cheeks, chin
• no moisturizer needed (cha-ching)
• less breakouts, smaller blemishes
• blemishes disappear within 2 days
• even skin tone (read: makeup-less and not scared)

I plan on sticking with it for at least 6 weeks; I figured since my skin certainly hasn't gotten worse and actually is improving, I have nothing to lose by continuing my experiment. Want me to keep you posted? (pun intended) I am happy to be your guinea pig on this one. 

I have another friend that told me she wasn't going to even entertain the idea of trying it until I had a month under my belt and she got back from a 12 day tropical vacation with her hubby. Can't blame her! Would love to hear your feedback and thoughts, and even your own skincare that has worked for you. We can just pretend we are all in our jammies drinking coffee and sharing about it in person to make it more fun.

Happy Monday!

*After a weekend away with two of my favorite girls, spending time snacking and talking and washing our faces before bed, my friend felt a sense of betrayal for not knowing some of the ins and outs of a certain regimen, or not knowing very important information about how to flatten your tummy after having babies. "WHAT?!?! You must post things like this on your blog so I can know this stuff! Why do you know this and didn't tell me!?!"

Even So

"All his life Joash did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight because Jehoiada the priest instructed him. Yet even so, he did not destroy the pagan shrines and the people still offered sacrifices and burned incense there." 2 Kings 12:2,3

I wonder what my "even so's" are? Am I pleasing to the Lord? Do I really care to be? Is that how I approach my days, with the goal in mind to please Him? 

All her life, Molly did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight...yet even so, she did not let go of her control and worry of provision and safety of the future. Yet even so, she did not stop comparing herself to other women and their bodies, minds and holiness, refusing to accept the Lord's good gift of her uniqueness in Him and harboring envy and pride in her heart. Yet even so, she did not destroy her idol of comfort and ease, so she still tried to serve two masters - herself and God. 

Like Joash, will I sell myself out to other rulers in my life in order to preserve my kingdom? Joash served the Lord at periods in his life, but in the end he was assassinated by his own officials, buried "in the City of David, but not in the royal cemetery." (2 Chron. 24:25)  Basically, Joash was close, but didn't quite make it into the category of "one after the Lord's heart." I can't help but wonder if that "because Jehoiada the priest instructed him" part has something to do with the fact that Joash's faith wasn't really his - he was just following someone's lead, doing what they said was appropriate, making offerings to the Lord with his stuff, but not with his heart. He didn't let God own him; he tried to keep parts to himself. We cannot serve two masters. Does Jesus say "I never knew you" to Joash? What will Jesus say to me?

How exhausted Joash must have been, trying to preserve his own life and kingdom while at the same time offering sacrifices to a God who he did not completely believe or trust. He just worshipped because someone told him that's what a good king does. 

Am I worshipping God because that's what a good girl does? What "even so's" do I need the Spirit to purge from my heart? How exhausting it can be, working to hold onto my kingdom while claiming to belong to another! 

"From beginning to end it is always his word and his call, his alone. If we follow Christ, cling to his word, and let everything else go, it will see us through the day of judgement. His word is his grace." (Bonhoeffer, Cost of Discipleship)

Not Our Home

We sold our house in a day. 

After 6 months of sweat and tears and money and exhaustion, it was finally ready to put on the market. And just like that, it was gone. No longer our home. Full of inspectors and agents and appraisals, people coming in and out, turning out the wrong lights when they leave. And I find myself getting defensive of our home, annoyed at all the intruders making appointments to get in, wanting to hold it close, keep it ours for as long as we can. But we have it in writing - it is no longer ours to keep, and we have given the buyers full rights to explore and discover their new home...even though all of our stuff still fills it.

And there is no new home for us to turn expectantly to. It is that moment of faith, when one must let go in order to grasp the next thing, our hands empty as we fly in mid-air, praying that we will see the help to come, grab firm and move forward. We must turn expectantly, not to a home, but to the Lord, and depend. Ultimately, all of life is dependence. 

At least that's what I try to remind myself. Not for the sake of over-spiritualizing the process, because there are tons of practical things that we have to think about, pay for, talk about, pray about, decide on, pay for...but when I feel I'm at my wits end, and nothing has changed about our circumstance despite the paying, talking, deciding, thinking, paying and praying, God always brings me back to the reality that this world is not my home. And although the spot where we lay our heads at night may be transient for a season, that is not a bad, or scary thing. It actually may be a really awesome, exciting thing - IF. If we will trust Him. And believe he loves us. And live like He loves us and will take care of us. 

"The first Christ-suffering which every man must experience is the call to abandon the attachments of this world" - Bonhoeffer

A Birthday Sandwich

Recipe for a Birthday Sandwich:

1 slice of big sister with the flu (despite flu shot), prepared before birthday. Set aside and wait to heal.

5 days of birthday fun in the middle!

Add another slice, this time of little sister with pneumonia for 10 days. 

Enjoy your birthday sandwich!

Bangs

Here in Greenville, we have had 4 days of solid rain. Boring, steady, gray rain. Last week was 75 degrees, and the daffodils started popping out of the ground. This week, rain. What does this have to do with bangs? Everything. 

I have bangs for the first time since I was 15:

Incriminating, I know.

I like to think that my new 'do is reminiscent of one actress on a currently favorite tv show, especially since my hair randomly went curly in my early 20s:

But usually, when I catch a reflection of myself in the grocery store window, the only time I have the opportunity to check myself out all day, I am always surprised to see that my hair, in fact, looks nothing like Jess's hair. Surprisingly disappointed.

Often I forget I have bangs, until the weather reminds me. 

This week, with our 4 days of wet weather, I was reminded what rain does to bangs, especially bangs that are attached to curly hair: 

Today's forecast is sun. Everyone will be thrilled, especially Bill, who helps me carry my groceries to the car.